For those unfamiliar with I’m on a Boat, please watch this first to get some context:

And now, Matt’s interpretation, for the Pirates:

Feel free to read along:

Awww shit!
Get your kickballs ready and prepare to be boarded
All the pirates listen the fuck up
Because your motherfuckin’ boat is going down
We sinkin’ this, let’s go!

We sank your boat!
We sank your boat!
Everybody look at us cuz we sank you puny boat!
We sank your boat!
We sank your boat!
Take a good hard look at your motherfuckin’ boat!

We sank your boat, swashbucklers whatchoo think of that?
Straight already lost this taunt to Matt
Like to see you try to mock us cuz we’re usin’ Twatter
While your motherfucking boat is under water

Pirates drool, we sank you boat, fool
Drinking from closed containers as per the rule
We found your fucked up parrot and your treasure mappies
We taught this league how to taunt, you all be tauntin’ crappy

I’m countin’ doubloons from a dead man’s chest
Drinkin’ from your rum, but only the best
We ain’t Johnny Depp, we’re real as it gets
We sank your boat, motherfucker, don’t you ever forget

We sank you boat, man, it’s down there and
This ain’t no Pirates of the Caribbean
All hands were lost, your fates were sealed
We’re the taunt champs of the kickball field

Fuck you, we sank your boat, motherfucker
Fuck hooks, we got hands, swashbuckler
Taunt Champs we do our duty motherfucker
Taunt Champs we rape your booty, swashbuckler

While we got our dicks in your poop deck Already know who we’ll pillage next Gonna put this up on YouTube somehow
Like Pajama Party’s win, anything is possible!

Yeah, it was easy to sink your boat
We just had to poke a few holes
Justin, look at me, oh!
We knew that in every way
We’d win it all at BF Day
Believe me when I say, I fucked Danielle!

We sank your boat!
We sank your boat!
Everybody look at us cuz we sank you puny boat!
We sank your boat!
We sank your boat!
Take a good hard look at your motherfuckin’ boat!

Whoaaah
Sc-sc-scurvey, matey
Yeah yeah yeaah